.... moving on....

There were so many things that happened in our lives. Some were happy, some were sad. Some were enlightening, some were disheartening.

And in every step of the way of those moments, we met people.. different people who in one way or another left certain markings in our hearts. These people made us laugh, cry, wonder, motivated, inspired. These people made us feel special or dumb. They made us different or just exactly the same like the others.

Once in my life, I thought I already met the person who really made me special. Yup, that person made me laughed. Oh only if you could see the smile at my face then. But the same person was the reason why other people laughed at me. That was the same person who allowed others to scoff at me and did nothing to rescue me. And I cried. Yup, that person made me cry. Actually, for many instances and for several reasons, I wept. I hope those were tears of joy, but they were not. Most of the time, matters of the heart everybody would wish not to experience. But no one’s spared from heartaches. It was inevitable.

Regrets? I am not sure. Of course, if you’re in pain, there are so many ifs and only ifs and maybes and perhaps. There were things you wished you could undo but shits always happen and one has to deal with it.

I never thought I could love another soul just like that. I never imagined myself to be capable of that. Whew! That person must be that special for me to go down on earth and love a mortal! Bwahahaha… Seriously, if only I could share with you the things that made me just like another human who moved heaven and hell just for another soul.

Is it wrong to love and care for another soul? Maybe not. What made it a wake-up call to me was I realized that the person did not love me at all. I realized if that soul really did, no tears or heartaches for me, scorning people would not be allowed to enter in our lives. And of course, a better judgement for me should have been there in the first place.

But things happened already. And people and feelings of the past should be forgotten. Time to move on and see new places and faces. But I must be thankful to that soul. Why? Thank you for gracing my life then. Thank you for making me believe that I was special to you and you appreciated me. Thank you for making me happy. I know you stayed before just to make me happy and you were my happiness then but it did not follow that you loved me. Salamat.

Thank you for opening my eyes that there are other fishes in the ocean who will take me as I am, no buts or ifs. Another soul who will not be a prisoner of his own misdoings and evil of money. Another soul who knows how to treasure a gem.

Soul, if there will come a time that our paths would cross again, worry not. I will treat you just like an acquaintance and nothing else. But just like I said, what goes around, comes around, and I do not want to wait for that time.

...my horoscope today...

Your long-distance friend has been out of touch with you for what seems like forever. Give it a little more time. Either you'll find a way to live with missing them or you'll get in touch at just the right moment.


I got this from my daily e-mail of horoscope. I am not much nito this but this time I guess I will believe this... hehehe.. well.... no harm i think..

today is the last day of our trainor's training. I am happy from what I gathered from our Dean regarding our performances in the training. I just hope that there was an evaluation afterwards to assess the whole training which would also establish as to whether the training would be helpful and the trainor who facilitated the training is qualified enough... i know she is but i am looking for something else based from the earlier discussions and at the same time from the objectives of the training...

i am hurt

as much as possible i do not want to blog whenever i am hurt especialy if a very important person in my life is the reason.

Yes, i am hurt.. devastatedly i am... few minutes ago, i cried.. no... i wept... i wept until my tears ran dry... it was not only about being hurt but being hurt by the person i love most.. i care most.. for a reason that i thought was really a matter of our hearts.. i was wrong... the silence between us which i have been broken to know the real story was because of a wrong information that some people gave to this special person...

my first question was why didn't this person ask me if it was true or not... November 9 is our second year anniversary.... two years of many mixed emotions... combination of different experiences... meeting of various moments... but we stood tall inspite of all those... for i thought trust and love can conquer all.... but i was wrong... trust is on the other side of the road and love is travelling alone on this side of the road... and understanding ang forgiveness are not joing their league..

i am writing this at this moment without any idea what would possibly happen later or hours from now or tomorrow... i do not know and i do not want to think about it...

to you.. i know you are not visiting my blog..
anyway.. Happy 2nd Anniversary....